Here.

 So we are here. Not really sure what that means. home? not really, but i guess it will have to do. 

 

 We have 2-3 months to figure out where to go from here.  i thought that once we got 'here' i would feel a little better. i would feel secure because we have a roof over our heads. We are renting a house, we are no longer homeless.  But this isn't home. It's temporary, and so no matter how much i try to be settled, my mind is constantly racing...constantly asking what is next? where will we go from here? where will we go?

 

 i have tried to make this place home.  We made paper hearts and rainbow stars for the windows. i have baskets of pine cones, and jars of acorn caps on the fireplace hearth.  i have tried to throw myself back into my crafting. Home is where the heart is after all, and we are here together.  but our hearts are not. This is just a house. It's not our house. It's just one more stop along our journey to find our way home.

It has been over a month since our home burned, throwing us into uncertainty and destroying all sense of security that we have known for the last 13 years.  Folks constantly ask if we are settled now, and all i can do is nod my head although my eyes fill with tears.  We are in a house, we are back to routine, we are settled.   In truth, i am far from settled.  

i am lost. completely and utterly lost.

i am so very far from home, that i have to wonder if i will ever find my way back again..

Next Stop.

i thought i would be able to come here and write about our new journey but now almost a month since my last post, and i really don't know what to write.  

Immediately after the fire, we went straight to the Hotel Floyd, where Red Cross put us up for 3 nights of emergency stay.  An absolutely wonderful woman (not sure if she wants to be named) who is the mother of one of Sage's classmates, arrived the next day with a huge care package, filled with clothing, toys, food, personal care items etc. She stayed for a couple of hours listening, talking, and giving me a shoulder to cry on. i truly can never thank her enough for her kindness, generosity, and help. She had also contacted a local church that arranged for us to stay a few more nights at the hotel while we tried to figure out just where the hell we would go.

The week we spent at the hotel is pretty much a blur. Kenan was dealing with the insurance company, donations and all the local folks who were calling, stopping by his shop wanting to help. I wasn't really in a place to deal anyone so I hung out at the hotel room with the kids and tried to find some kind of normal. We played cards, cuddled on the bed watching cartoons, played computer games and started re-reading The Hobbit.

We had several folks generously offer us temporary shelter.  We ended up staying in a garage apartment  that belongs to my friend who I goat-sat for a few years ago.  It was a really nice little apartment/office, with two rooms, a kitchenette and a bathroom.  It also had a private entrance, so it gave us plenty of privacy, and we didn't have to feel like we were invading.

We had a fold out table and chairs to use, and my friend made a huge pot of spaghetti with homemade marinara.  It was absolutely delicious and a nice change from all the fast food and microwave meals we had been eating.  After days of eating off paper plates in a hotel room, it was really nice to be able to sit down and enjoy a home cooked meal together.

      We had two inflatable mattresses to sleep on, and thank goodness for wi-fi and netflix we were still able to have our Friday family movie night.  These tiny bits of normalcy and familiarity are what we were really clinging to this week. We were constantly trying to find/create a new normal.  

The kids were able to hang out and play with my friend's girls, and i did more socializing in that week that i have in the last two years. We sat around chatting over coffee, and i got a lesson in knitting.

 The weather was pretty crappy that week, so we didn't leave the apartment much at all.  Kids missed several days of school due to the weather but we did go out and hike through the woods one afternoon.  We found a bunch of skunk cabbage coming up, even though it was coated in a layer of ice and snow.

During this week, we began receiving clothing donations from the local community and care packages from friends and family around the country. Many of the boxes were stored at Kenan's shop and we didn't even open them until the following week, because we were here temporarily, had no space to store anything.  There were a few special boxes that were addressed to kids which were opened right away.   So much love and kindness packaged up in boxes. Some contained necessities, others were full of toys and fun items to make us smile. We received an huge anonymous box for the kids from Philadelphia candy company.

 

The kids received new build-a-bears from Grandma & Grandpa T.  This was one of our hardest evening thus far.  Sage who had been enjoying the excitement of the hotel, and staying with friends, finally broke down.  She had a complete meltdown, and sobbed uncontrollably for over an hour, which made Sequoia and i cry too. So we all huddled together and hugged, and cried and cried.

Although we knew our friends would allow us to stay as long as we needed, we really wanted to find a place to rent ASAP.  The uncertainty of the situation was extremely scary. We didn't have time to mourn our loss or even let anything sink in, we were in a constant state of survival mode.  No one ever expects to go from the security of a warm comfortable home, to finding themselves completely homeless.
Trying to find a place to move to in rural community is extremely difficult, but we had many local folks offing up extra rooms and basements. Kenan immediately contacted the man he rents his glass shop from, as we knew he also rented out several houses. He didn't have anything available, but his sister had an empty house next door to her that she used when family came to visit. It was fully furnished, and we were able to move in immediately.

So we packed up all of our belongings, which fit inside a couple of tote bags, said good bye to our friends and continued on. 




"Already he was a very different hobbit from the one that had run out without a pocket-handkerchief from Bag-End long ago. He had not had a pocket-handkerchief for ages."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

An Unexpected Journey.

 No, this isn't a review of the movie (which we loved).  i've just been feeling an awful lot like Bilbo lately, and thought the title was appropriate.  This is a back post, as the days seem to melt together. The first week lasted an eternity, the second week has flown by and i have yet to sit down and write, process or grieve anything.

 For those curious as to how the fire started, we do not completely know. We do know it originated in the wall where the wood stove pipe connects to the chimney.  i had just come home from volunteering at the school.  Nothing was out of the norm. i made myself some lunch, and sat down at the computer and began reply to posts/messages on facebook. My cat who had been sitting in front of the wood stove got up, walked into the kitchen and began staring up at the wall. He has done this in the past when there was a mouse in the wall, or sometimes rain would drip down the chimney and make a tinking sound. While typing my finger tips began to tingle and feel numb.  So i got up to dip my fingers in the pan of water on the stove (it was hot) and i walked into the kitchen to see what it was that was holding his attention.  That's when i heard a very faint crinkling noise coming from the wall.  My first thought was that it was ice breaking up on the roof, but it was an unusual sound and it was getting louder. So i called my husband to tell him there was a really weird noise coming from the wall, and as i am standing there talking to him and looking up at where the ceiling and the wall connect i begin to see smoke. That's when it hit me. i remember yelling, 'Oh my god' the wall is on fire!  Then i hung up and called 911.

i thought the fire trucks would come and put the fire out. i expected some serious damage to the wall, and water damage throughout the house.   It never ever occurred to me that they wouldn't be able to put the fire out. It all happened so fast. The fireman came and they blasted water at the house, and i sat in my car and watched my house burn down. Completely indescribable feeling. 

 So getting back to the title of my post, i have found myself forced out of my Hobbit hole (comfort zone) with no choice but to keep moving forward. So many people keep telling me i am strong. It's not about strength, it's about survival. There is no other choice but to keep moving, to keep trucking along on this unexpected journey we now find our selves on. 

So what does one do when your house burns down and you have no where to go? 

 First stop, Hotel Floyd. The fire chief at the scene contacted  the Red Cross.   The Red Cross provided emergency shelter.  They put us up at the Floyd Hotel for three nights.  A woman from the Red Cross met us at the hotel a few hours after we arrived there. She provided 4 handmade blankets that had been donated from Project Linus, 4 Target personal tote bags each contained personal care and toiletry items...tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, shampoo, comb etc.  She had totebags for the kids from Project Night Night.  Each bag contained a blanket, a few books and a stuffed animal.  She also had an emergency assistance visacard, which provided money to purchase some food and basic necessities.  i remember very little of the first night at all, except that i could not sleep.  Every time my eyes closed smoke would begin to seep into my dream and a grey nothingness would consume everything.


So this is where our journey began.



 “Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

A post i never thought i would make.

 It's amazing how quickly life can change.

One minute i am replying to a message on facebook, and the very next minute i am standing outside watching my house burn down.

 

i am so completely drained physically, mentally and emotionally and do not have the energy to write out the story yet, but i will as i process things.

What i do remember is how it felt like an eternity before the fire trucks came, how i grabbed my computer, and a few other electronics that had been setting at the table because i was afraid of water damage when they put the fire out. Never in my mind did it occur to me that they wouldn't be able to put it out and that the fire would consume everything that we have spent the last 13 years building.

 The support from the community, both local (Indian Valley) and online has been incredible. This has been the hardest thing i've ever been through, but also an incredibly important learning experience.  It's funny how when you have a house full of stuff, there is always something you need.  Yet when you find yourself with nothing, you realize you need very little.  We are all safe, we are all okay. That is all that we need right now. i can't even begin to express the gratitude i have for the neighbors who showed up to help us, who donated clothing, and animal feed. For the online Art Glass community and Hippie Mama Craft communities that have come together and shown us more love and support than we ever could have imagined.


As you can imagine we are completely overwhelmed right now just trying to find temporary housing, dealing with the insurance company all while trying to create some sort of normalcy for our children.

Our family created a page with a list of immediate needs, clothing sizes, and contact info.  The page has also become a place where the Art Glass community and Hippie Mama crafters communtiy have come together to list many fabulous auctions to help raise money for our family. https://www.facebook.com/groups/521865481179484/522348181131214/

There is also Chip In Fire Fund that was set up by my friend Kate Prejean.
http://tiemeyerfirefund.chipin.com/tiemeyer-fire-fund

Team Auction to raise money for Kenan and Tree was set up by Jenna Michelle Kidd.   It is an online fundraiser event running from Jan. 23- Jan. 3.  The page is hosting lots of fantastic handmade craft Auctions that were  put together by some amazingly talented artists.   https://www.facebook.com/events/145811905574451/



My good friend Jaime also created a page with information and support.  https://www.facebook.com/TreeTiemeyerAndFamilyHouseFireDonationSite

It has been completely amazing and life changing to see so many people come together to help our family.  i am truly at a loss of words, 'Thank you' just doesn't seem to express the amount of gratitude we feel.  We have been forever changed by this experience. Once we are back on our feet, we will be making a very large effort to 'pay it forward'. 

i will be blogging each step as we slowly begin to rebuild our lives again. Thank you all so much for your continued love and support. 

Winter Storm 2013

i apologize for my absence, i have lots of posts to catch up on!

 We finally got our snow!  It began early Thursday afternoon.  The sky darkened and it started with the rain. The local schools released 3 hours early, due to the impending weather.  So the kids sat around anxiously awaiting the snow.  It began to fall around 3pm, and came down fast! The lights flickered a few times, and then went out.

 

 i believe we got something like 8-9 inches in just a few hours.  The kids went outside and played until dark.  Then we lit candles and oil lamps, had cold sandwiches for dinner and sat around the stove reading books until bedtime.

Friday morning we woke to a beautiful scene! The storm had past leaving almost a foot of snow!    The sky was clear and blue, it was an absolutely perfect winters day!

This is our road Friday morning. We were still without power and knew we'd be snowed in a while.  We bundled up and headed outside to play in the snow.

 We have this amazing hill to sled on just across the road.  During the summer this field is full of cows, but in the winter we have permission to sled here.  The hill is huge. Can you see my husband and kids up by the tree line?  They are there, very tiny in the picture, but they are up there.

The hill in front of the old homestead is a bit tamer, and a bit less work to climb up and down. We spent several hours outside playing, then came inside and warmed up by the wood stove. 

 

 i truly cannot imagine not having a wood stove when the power is out. We lost power on Thursday night, and didn't get it back until Sunday Evening.  We heated water on the wood stove, and made hot cocoa. and coffee with a french press.   Despite not having power, i was able to cook pancakes, oatmeal,  grilled cheese, beans and rice,  vegetarian chili and quesadillas on the stove top using my cast iron.
Not having power was a bit of an inconvenience,  but with our wood stove we were able to stay warm and well fed. We melted snow for flushing toilets, and water for the animals.  All of our basic needs were met, and we were able to enjoy the quiet pace of being snowed in without power.

 

Without the distractions of technology, we spent as much time outside as we could.  Instead of a snowman, my kids built a snow dragon.

 i helped a little, but they designed it and did most of the work themselves.  They made a nest of eggs that her tail curled around.

 

 Unfortunately it began to melt before we ever got it finished.  We were trying to build up the body a bit more and add wings, but it just didn't happen.  It was still a ton of fun to make, and much more fabulous than a boring ol' snowman. :)

So, now that we've finally had our big snow, i am ready for spring! :)

Winter came down to our home one night
Quietly pirouetting in on silvery-toed slippers of snow,
And we, we were children once again.
~Bill Morgan, Jr.